“I could not turn away from anyone
Like you, a stranger, or refuse to help him.
I know well, being mortal, that my claim
Upon the future is no more than yours.”
Benevolence is the most important way for me to treat people. I believe that the best way to treat people is kindness and to genuinely wish the best for them. This is something I learned from my parents: to show kindness to everybody and to show appreciation for everything you like people do. For my parents, this appreciation mostly means giving money but I understood over the course of my experience that showing appreciation by deeds works much better in two ways. First, I feel better, because I honestly show what I feel and give chance to the other person to do the same. Secondly, the chance this other person will do the same thing I like will be much higher.
Benevolence also drives me to help people whenever they need it, open to it and if I can help. Benevolence gives me the ability to recognise the good will in. Benevolence makes me tell people the truth in a way they can digest it. This means I am separating my opinion from facts and stating it as observations. I also give my points on how people can improve but only if they want it. My benevolence includes myself too, that is, I want the best for myself too and I am willing to take action to become this better self of me.
What the quote of Sophocles means to me is that I will encounter people on their way, who need help and that I will encounter people too, who will help me too. This help can be just random acts of kindness or help to find one’s spiritual way, to help somebody grow. I am walking my own way but there will be people, who want to walk my way and there will be people, who I will walk with on their own way. I want to hold onto myself to walk on my own way but walking my own way does not make me better or worse than anybody else because in the universe good or bad does not exist. I offer help, once somebody is directionless and I will ask for help once I need directions. But if the other person does not want this help or is not willing to help me, it is okay to part ways. If we decide to say goodbye, I want to say goodbye with the calmness of goodwill. But when I walk together with somebody, I want to help and be helped with an open heart, with benevolence.
As for now, I am okay with showing benevolence but I feel it is rarely honest. I feel I am manipulating people when I am kind to them. I am often kind so that they show kindness to me and when I do not get this kindness I become upset. I get angry because on my dark side I deeply hate myself and I rely on validation from others so that I become acceptable for myself. If I do not get this validation, I lose my shit. From now on I want to be kind to myself and show benevolence to me. This means walking my own way but help others in walking their own way if they choose to walk with me.